NEW TATTOO!!

My husband stopped off to see our tattoo artist the other day to give him our sketches so he could work with them and make the necessary changes. I am so excited!!! I haven't gotten a new tattoo since all of this MS business started so it has been almost 2 years. We go back the 17th to get them done!!!! I can't wait. It usually takes a while to get an appt with him so I was so glad it was as soon as it was They are not kidding when they say that once you get one you want more. It is so true.

When I was in college (about 17 years ago)I got my first one - A very tiny one- I came home one weekend with my roommate and best friend at the time and we got the same one. I was dating my now husband who HATED tattoos back then. He didn't talk to me for 2 weeks.

About 6 years ago I begged and begged because I wanted another one and didn't want him to be mad at me and he gave in. (marriage made him soft) So I got one on the top of my foot. He came with me and I think that might have been his turning point. I think he tought it was cool. After that I talked him in to getting one with me for Valentines day and he did and now he's addicted too. It is kind of fun getting tattoos together. They are not the same designs or anything but it is nicer having someone there to do it with you.

It is nice having something to look forward to.

SHE CALLED!!!!!

She called yesterday (Sunday) Yea!!!! She'll make me feel better.

Still nothin!

Still haven't heard from the neurologist.

Has anyone seen my life?

I seem to have lost my life. I feel consumed with this disease and I am tired of this. I am more laid back , I am not this type of person but it seems that my life revolves around MS? How did this come to be? I am ashamed that I have become this. I need to straighten things out and start being me. I used to go get pedicures (more often than I would like to admit) and I never even feel like doing that. I am fine with having MS and I know that it will affect my life in certain ways but my life shoud not revolve around it. I can't tell you the things that I haven't done since I have had this disease. The things I am just too tired to do. It really is pathetic. I used to be this independent always on the go, take care of everything type of person and now I'm more of a one thing at a time person. I know that people love me and want the best for me but I am sick of them trying to go easy on me and take care of me, worry that I'm tired or I'm over doing it. I used to take care of everyone. I miss that. I want to be the taker carer again.

I called

OK, so I called and left a message for my neurologist. I don't know why I am hesitant to do that. She always says that it is better to contact her through e-mail but sometimes she doesn't answer me and other times she answers right away and I cannot figure this out. It bugs me because why does she think I'm telling her? Just to tell her? I really would like an answer even if she just says wait a week and see how you feel. Just some acknowledgement that she has seen the e-mail. Give me something.

WHY OH WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

WHY OH WHY HASN'T MY NEUROLOGIST ANSWERED MY E-MAILS?
SERIOUSLY! I TOLD HER THAT THINGS WERE NUMB, I WAS DIZZY, I WASN'T FUNCTIONING PROPERLY.
WHY WOULDN'T SHE GET BACK TO ME?
IT HAS BEEN OVER 24 HOURS SINCE MY FIRST E-MAIL.
I'M DYIN HERE!!!!

??????

So I am driving to work Monday morning and I am petrified! It is like there is too much going on around me and I am only able to concentrate on one thing at a time. It is terrifying! What the hell is this feeling? It is a confused out of body type experience that I can't even describe. AND my lips are numbish. Like the feeling when you have novacaine and it is wearing off and it is kind of prickly and itchy. That's the feeling! Honestly, I kind of like it. Well anyways, I haven't driven since. My coworker (and BFF) drove me home (Bless her soul) from work and has driven me since. Thank god! Even though it is not like she lives close or anything. She drives me out of the goodness of her heart. What love!!!! So I have been dizzy ever since and unaware of what is going on around me. Yesterday during the day my whole body felt tingly and strange. I don't like this feeling. It is hard to describe but I was walking down an aisle at Rite Aid last night and I look at the products on the shelf while I was walking and almost fell over because there was too much to see so quickly. It is weird. It is like my brain has slowed down all of a sudden. My legs feel weird too. My husband says it is because I am so tired but I really don't think so. They almost feel weak but not really. Kind of tingley. I don't know. I e-mailed my neurologist on Tuesday and I am waiting to hear from her. We'll see.