SHE CALLED!!!!!

She called yesterday (Sunday) Yea!!!! She'll make me feel better.

Still nothin!

Still haven't heard from the neurologist.

Has anyone seen my life?

I seem to have lost my life. I feel consumed with this disease and I am tired of this. I am more laid back , I am not this type of person but it seems that my life revolves around MS? How did this come to be? I am ashamed that I have become this. I need to straighten things out and start being me. I used to go get pedicures (more often than I would like to admit) and I never even feel like doing that. I am fine with having MS and I know that it will affect my life in certain ways but my life shoud not revolve around it. I can't tell you the things that I haven't done since I have had this disease. The things I am just too tired to do. It really is pathetic. I used to be this independent always on the go, take care of everything type of person and now I'm more of a one thing at a time person. I know that people love me and want the best for me but I am sick of them trying to go easy on me and take care of me, worry that I'm tired or I'm over doing it. I used to take care of everyone. I miss that. I want to be the taker carer again.

I called

OK, so I called and left a message for my neurologist. I don't know why I am hesitant to do that. She always says that it is better to contact her through e-mail but sometimes she doesn't answer me and other times she answers right away and I cannot figure this out. It bugs me because why does she think I'm telling her? Just to tell her? I really would like an answer even if she just says wait a week and see how you feel. Just some acknowledgement that she has seen the e-mail. Give me something.

WHY OH WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

WHY OH WHY HASN'T MY NEUROLOGIST ANSWERED MY E-MAILS?
SERIOUSLY! I TOLD HER THAT THINGS WERE NUMB, I WAS DIZZY, I WASN'T FUNCTIONING PROPERLY.
WHY WOULDN'T SHE GET BACK TO ME?
IT HAS BEEN OVER 24 HOURS SINCE MY FIRST E-MAIL.
I'M DYIN HERE!!!!

??????

So I am driving to work Monday morning and I am petrified! It is like there is too much going on around me and I am only able to concentrate on one thing at a time. It is terrifying! What the hell is this feeling? It is a confused out of body type experience that I can't even describe. AND my lips are numbish. Like the feeling when you have novacaine and it is wearing off and it is kind of prickly and itchy. That's the feeling! Honestly, I kind of like it. Well anyways, I haven't driven since. My coworker (and BFF) drove me home (Bless her soul) from work and has driven me since. Thank god! Even though it is not like she lives close or anything. She drives me out of the goodness of her heart. What love!!!! So I have been dizzy ever since and unaware of what is going on around me. Yesterday during the day my whole body felt tingly and strange. I don't like this feeling. It is hard to describe but I was walking down an aisle at Rite Aid last night and I look at the products on the shelf while I was walking and almost fell over because there was too much to see so quickly. It is weird. It is like my brain has slowed down all of a sudden. My legs feel weird too. My husband says it is because I am so tired but I really don't think so. They almost feel weak but not really. Kind of tingley. I don't know. I e-mailed my neurologist on Tuesday and I am waiting to hear from her. We'll see.

Feelin pretty good!

I finally got in to see my neurologist. I love her. She gave me a new med for the stabbing headache and it seems to be working. She also said I could try to go off the tegretol and baclofen and see if the neurontin will be enough for the trigeminal pain. So far so good! I am way less unsteady without those two drugs and I seem to tolerate the neurontin pretty well. In general I am feeling pretty good lately which totally rocks!

The weirdest thing happened to me last night. I read in bed everynight until I get so tired that I am reading with one eye shut because I have double vision, and just when I was putting the book away to go to sleep I noticed that everything was really dark when I looked out of my right eye. So I went back and forth covering each eye to see what I could see and it was definitely way way darker out of my right eye. this is not the first time this has happened but I ignored it a couple times before and chalked it up to tired eyes. Should I be concerned about this? Is this an MS thing or were my eyes just tired? My eyes are fine right now. I have never had any eye trouble. I think I am going to pay better attention to this and see (haha) what happens!

I went to Cirque du Soleil Alegria! this past weekend. It was awesome! I love all the Cirque shows. They are just amazing. The things that the people in them can do are so unreal!!!!! If you ever have a chance to go to one definitely go!

HOLY FREAKIN HEADACHE

I woke up really early Monday morning with what felt like my normal headache from my Rebif shot the night before just a little worse than normal. Well, as the day wore on, the headache got worse and worse until I literally couldn't take it and I'm not that big of a wuss. I can usually take a fair amount of pain. This headache has lasted all week. It is a bit better now and I actually went to work on Thursday and today. I contacted my GP and they didn't help me at all. They told me to contact my neurologist. So I contacted her and she is trying to squeeze me into her schedule because she is full up. She did seem concerned though so that is a bonus and perhaps she'll give me some relief.

Because of my headache, I have not been to the fair yet and I am dying to go. Speaking of the fair, my brother opened for The Fray at the grandstand. I guess their opening act cancelled so the promoter or whomever had to scramble to get a replacement so they called his band. Cool right? He was psyched!

It is supposed to be a great weekend and I so hope my head is better and I can go to the fair. Keep your fingers crossed!